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How to Support Your Teen

November 6, 2019
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Posted by Rosalie Baldwin, LCSW-R
Screen Shot 2019-11-06 at 2.12.57 PM

What to Expect During Your Child’s Adolescent Years and How to Support Your Teen

If you are a parent of an adolescent you might wonder, is my teenager’s behavior typical or cause for concern? A good way to understand adolescent behavior is to know a few things about their brain development. To begin with, during adolescence, the part of the brain that is responsible for reasoning, planning, regulating emotions, and making future-oriented decisions (frontal lobe) is less developed than the part of the brain that is associated with rewards, pleasure-seeking, and emotional responses (limbic system). Their frontal lobe continues to develop throughout adolescence and does not fully develop until their mid-20s. This indicates that teenagers may be more likely to make decisions based on emotions and impulses without thinking through potential risks or long-term consequences. Teenagers also begin to use experiences to form new opinions and may have more difficulty managing emotions. In addition to their frontal lobe being in the process of developing, adolescents experience hormonal changes that affect their sexual development and sleep cycles.

The following are typical behaviors you might notice and ways you can help your teen:

1) Engaging in reward-based behavior: Adolescents tend to be more motivated by experiences that are immediately rewarding and may not think through consequences of their behavior. This means that teenagers may be more likely to engage in pleasurable or exciting behaviors, even if they are risky, e.g. experimenting with alcohol or drugs, staying out past curfew or texting while driving. Ways to help your teen include modeling future-oriented decision making, praising them when they make positive choices, and encouraging their participation in extracurricular activities that are stimulating.

2) Avoiding non-stimulating behaviors: Because teenagers tend to prioritize immediately rewarding behavior, they may also avoid non-stimulating behaviors which can lead to problems with long-term goal setting/attainment. For example, teens may prioritize video games over studying for a test and avoid household chores, homework or taking care of their hygiene. Parents can help by limiting their teen’s access to electronics until they are finished with their responsibilities or providing positive feedback or rewards for engaging in behaviors they find tedious.

3) Sleep cycle shifts later: Teenagers begin to feel sleepy later in the evening (sometimes after midnight) and may have difficulty waking up in the morning. Adolescents may lack motivation to practice good sleep hygiene, which can further delay the onset of sleep. Ways you can help your teen improve his/her sleep hygiene include taking away electronics an hour before bed, creating a comfortable sleep environment, limiting caffeine intake and no caffeine after 4 pm, and establishing a regular bedtime (even on weekends). It is important to help your teen practice good sleep hygiene given that lack of sleep can lead to difficulty staying focused, an increase in impulsivity and moodiness and can contribute to depression.

4) Increased interest in friend group/social media: It is typical for adolescents to prioritize socializing with friends or peers either in person or on social media and have a strong desire to “fit in.” It is important to know where and who your teenager is spending time with and set limits around social media use (too much social media use has been shown to be linked to depressive symptoms); however, it is also important to keep in mind that socializing and feeling connected to their peers is good for adolescents’ self-esteem and overall mental health. Since social media is a major way teens stay connected to their peers these days having access is important, but it is also okay to set limits around how much access they have. Socializing can be extremely beneficial for your teen’s future, given that they will eventually depend on a support group other than their immediate family and will rely on the social skills they develop during their adolescence.

5) Desire for independence: Forming new opinions and being interested in having more independence and privacy is a normal part of adolescence. Keeping up with your teen’s new interests is beneficial for maintaining a relationship with them, but their desire for independence is adaptive. The next stage in your teenager’s life could involve deciding on a career path, taking on adult responsibilities and eventually moving out of their caregiver’s home.

6) Interest in dating/sexual experimentation: Adolescents typically have an increased interest in dating or engaging in sexual activity given that they are going through sexual maturation. Teenagers sometimes make impulsive decisions about sex; this makes it all the more critical that adolescents are educated about sex and dating in order to increase the likelihood that they will make safe and healthy decisions regarding sex and the romantic relationships they choose to be in. Keep in mind that research indicates that talking to adolescents about sex does not increase the likelihood that they will become sexually active, but lack of education can lead to unsafe sexual practices.

7) Difficulty managing emotions/moodiness: Given that teenagers’ “emotional center” of the brain is more developed than the “reasoning center” and they have less control over their impulses, you may notice that your teenager has more emotional outbursts or an increase in irritability. It is important to validate your teenager’s emotions, listen to them when they talk about stressors or concerns and encourage them to use skills to manage their emotions (deep breathing, mindfulness, and engaging in enjoyable activities or other positive outlets).

Sometimes caregivers want additional support to navigate challenges that may arise in this stage of their child’s life. In addition, it is important to be aware that mental health issues often emerge in adolescence, and the sooner adolescents get treatment the better outcomes they have. Therefore, if any of your adolescent’s behaviors become overwhelming or problematic for you or your teen, it is advisable to seek help from a professional.

Lo que se Puede Esperar Durante la Adolescencia y Cómo Ayudar a nuestros Hijos en esa etapa

Si usted es el padre o madre de un adolescente seguramente se has preguntado si  el comportamiento de su hijo o hija es normal o si debes preocuparte.  Para comprender la conducta de su joven adolescente sirve saber algunas cosas sobre el desarrollo cerebral. Para comenzar, durante la adolescencia, la parte del cerebro que es responsable de razonar, planear, regular las emociones, y tomar decisiones orientadas hacia el futuro ( el lóbulo frontal)  está menos desarrollada que la parte del cerebro que se asocia con satisfacción, búsqueda del placer, y respuestas emocionales (el sistema límbico.)  El lobo frontal continúa desarrollándose a través de la adolescencia y no termina de desarrollarse hasta los 25 años, más o menos. Esto indica que los adolescentes son propensos a hacer decisiones basadas en sus emociones y sus impulsos sin pensar en los riesgos potenciales o en las consecuencias a largo término. Los jóvenes también comienzan a usar sus experiencias para formar nuevas opiniones, y  se les dificulta manejar sus emociones. Además de que el lobo frontal está en proceso de desarrollo, los adolescentes experimentan cambios hormonales que controlan su desarrollo sexual y sus ciclos de sueño.

Las siguientes son varias conductas típicas que  puede ser que usted note y la forma en que puede ayudar a su adolescente:

1) Conducta basada en la satisfacción: El adolescente generalmente se motiva por experiencias que proporcionan una satisfacción inmediata y no piensa en las consecuencias de sus actos. Esto significa que los jóvenes más a menudo hacen algo que proporciona placer o emociones fuertes aún si son riesgosas, por ejemplo experimentan con alcohol o drogas, se quedan fuera de la casa hasta muy tarde, o escriben un texto mientras manejan. Para ayudar al joven, modele decisiones basadas en los resultados en el futuro, elogie las decisiones positivas y  anímelos a que participen en actividades extracurriculares que son interesantes.

2)  Evitan las actividades que no son divertidas o emocionantes: Ya que los jóvenes tienden a darle más importancia a lo que proporciona una recompensa inmediata, y las actividades tranquilas que no  proporcionan satisfacción instantánea no les atraen tanto, se les hace difícil emprender actividades cuyos frutos se darán a largo plazo. Por ejemplo un adolescente preferirá  pasar el tiempo con video juegos en lugar de estudiar para un examen, hacer la tarea,  cuidar su higiene, o hacer quehaceres del hogar. Los padres pueden ayudar poniéndole un límite al acceso a los juegos electrónicos, permitiéndoles usar el teléfono celular o la computadora solamente cuando hayan terminado sus responsabilidades, o elogiándolos o recompensándolos por hacer los quehaceres que son  tediosos.

3) El ciclo del sueño es más tarde en el joven que en el adulto: A los adolescentes les da sueño más tarde en la noche (a veces hasta después de la medianoche) y pueden tener dificultad para despertarse en la mañana. El adolescente carece de motivación para practicar buenos hábitos de dormir, lo que causa que se vaya a dormir aún más tarde. Los padres pueden ayudar a los jóvenes a mejorar sus hábitos de sueño quitándoles los juegos electrónicos una hora antes del momento de irse a dormir, creando un ambiente cómodo para el sueño, limitando o eliminando la cafeína después de las cuatro de la tarde, y estableciendo una hora regular de irse a dormir, (aún los fines de semana.)  Es muy importante ayudarle al joven a practicar buenos hábitos de sueño ya que la falta de sueno puede llevar a dificultades de atención, a un aumento en los actos impulsivos, al mal humor y hasta puede contribuir a la depresión.

 4) Aumento en el interés en los grupos de amistades, y en las redes sociales: Para los adolescentes las amistades y compañeros, ya sea en persona o en las redes sociales, tienen una  gran importancia y ellos desean encajar y caerle bien al grupo. Es importante saber dónde y con quién su joven está pasando el tiempo y también hay que límitar al uso de las redes sociales.  Se ha observado que el uso excesivo de las redes sociales está relacionado a síntomas de depresión; sin embargo, también es importante reconocer que las amistades y el sentirse conectado a sus compañeros es bueno para la autoestima y la salud mental. Ya que las redes sociales son una forma importante de mantenerse en contacto con sus compañeros estos días, es importante que tengan acceso, pero está bien ponerles límites en cuanto acceso disponible tienen. Socializar puede ser extremadamente beneficioso para el futuro del joven ya que a la larga dependerá de un grupo de apoyo independiente del que la familia inmediata le brinda y tendrá que usar las habilidades sociales que se han desarrollado durante la adolescencia.

5)  Deseo de independencia: Tener nuevas opiniones y querer tener más independencia y privacidad es parte normal de la adolescencia. Estar al tanto de los nuevos intereses del joven es beneficioso para mantener una relación con él o ella. La próxima etapa en la vida del adolescente puede ser escoger su carrera, tomar responsabilidades de adulto y con el tiempo cambiarse de casa y salir del hogar de los padres o  encargados de crianza.

6) Interés en el noviazgo y la experimentación sexual: Es típico que los adolescentes estén interesados en el noviazgo o en entablar relaciones sexuales, ya que ellos están pasando por la etapa de maduración sexual. Los jóvenes a veces toman decisiones impulsivas acerca del sexo;  por eso es muy  importante que los adolescentes tengan educación apropiada sobre el noviazgo y las relaciones sexuales. Así podrán tomar decisiones saludables y libres de peligro acerca de las relaciones románticas y sexuales que opten por tener o no tener. Recuerde que los estudios de investigaciones indican que hablar con los adolescentes sobre el sexo no aumenta la probabilidad de que se convertirán sexualmente activos, pero la falta de educación sexual puede llevar a prácticas sexuales peligrosas.

7)  Dificultad en controlar las emociones/mal humor: Debido a que el “centro emocional” de los adolescentes está más desarrollado que el “centro de razonar” y que ellos tienen menos control sobre sus impulsos que  un adulto, puede que usted note que el o la joven tiene más crisis emocionales o está más irritable. Es importante validar las emociones de el o la joven, escucharlos cuando hablan sobre lo que les causa estrés o preocupaciones y animarlos a que usen métodos para manejar sus emociones (respirar hondo, “mindfulness’’ hacer actividades agradables u otras acciones positivas.)

A veces los padres o encargados de un adolescente necesitan ayuda adicional para navegar las dificultades que pueden presentarse en esta etapa en la vida del joven. Además hay que recordar que los problemas de salud mental a menudo emergen en la adolescencia y entre más pronto se les de tratamiento es mejor. Por lo tanto si algún aspecto de la conducta del adolescente es muy problemático o abrumador  para usted o para su hijo o hija, es recomendable buscar la ayuda de un  profesional.

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Rosalie Baldwin, LCSW-R

Rosalie Baldwin, LCSW-R is a bilingual (English/Spanish) licensed clinical social worker who is trained in evidenced-based treatments including Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Dialectical Behavior Therapy, Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction, Motivational Interviewing and Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. She is currently ... Read full bio
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